For some people right now, Christmas must seem a long way back in the rear vision mirror. Not for me. As I write this I am on my last day of annual leave – and some of the Christmas sounds and experiences are still fresh for me. Probably, they will soon fade as the noise of a New Year cranks up.
One of my memories of worship this Christmas past is still ringing in my soul … and, as it has done so, and as I have reflected, my spiritual and theological understanding has deepened. Several times I have either sung, or listened on TV, to that amazing Christmas carol, O Holy Night – it remains my all-time favourite carol. There are several lines of lyric that have freshly stood out to me.
“Long lay the world in sin and error pining,
'Till He appeared, and the soul felt its worth.
A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices,
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn; …”
Note this phrase , in particular, “‘Till He appeared, and the soul felt its worth.” The soul felt it’s worth – it didn’t know its real worth until the Saviour appeared. One night before Christmas I was listening to (and singing along with) this wonderful carol, and that one phrase continued to impress itself in my mind and ring in my spirit as if God was speaking to me personally. The carol finished and I bowed to reflect and pray.
I remember that very night when I came to faith so very long ago. That encounter with God was so utterly life-changing for me. The moment I responded to the Saviour’s invitation, a love so rich and pure, so deep and penetrating, overwhelmed me. In that revelation experience, when God revealed His love for me, a hurting desperate child, my soul knew something beyond words and theology, beyond intellectual comprehension - it experienced something so divine, so pure and without agenda, that it had never known before. It was not new data, not new information, or anything cerebral at all. I experienced a revelation of God’s love – for me. And when it flowed into me …
my soul felt its worth for the first time!
It felt its inestimable worth. It knew. No amount of education, no amount of research, information, knowledge, theological understanding or anything else can reveal to the soul its real worth, its real value … except the love of God, shown to us, demonstrated to us in His Son, Jesus the Christ - and experienced.
I pondered this thought for days!
I was excited all over again about how the Father feels about me, how He responds to me, how He longs for me and for my glorious future with Him to come to fruition. When, by His Spirit, He appeared to me that night in 1968, and flooded my whole being with His love, my soul felt something it had never felt before. All previous experiences of ‘love’ were immediately rendered far inferior. My soul knew something that cannot be taught – and which can never be taken away from me by anyone, or any thing.
Romans 8:35-39 (NIV)
“Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? … 37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. 38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
There is absolutely no possibility of me ever doubting, ever questioning God’s love for me. I have experienced it, been soaked in it … That kind of revelation in the soul of a man or woman leaves an indelible, eternal imprint that can never be erased.
So why do we worry? Why do we doubt? Why do we think God is not answering our prayers?
This is why sin is so insidious, so evil, so entangling! It produces guilt and shame – shame is the opposite of love! Our sin entanglement prevents our ongoing ability to experience the love God. The soul can only know its worth, its intrinsic, sacred value to God, any certainty of destiny, any real hope at all, when it has experienced the love of God the Father. This is the God I know. This is the God I love. This is the God I happily serve … and all my delight is in Him.
“And so, I will worship and adore You!
I will praise You and exalt You!
I will not withhold from You a single precious thing.
I will not forget Your blood-soaked cross,
I am not my own now – how can I be?
For I did not know I was searching for You …
Until Your love found me.”
[Extracted from “I didn’t know” a poem by Milton Oliver, 2001]
You are loved.
Ps Milton